“TRLA Tips” is a series powered by TRLA and its legal team to educate on the topics affecting the communities we serve. This is not a substitute for legal advice and should only serve as a guideline. 

TRIGGER WARNING: The following story includes references to sexual assault and violence. We empower you to decide if this content is safe for you; if not, we welcome you to read the other journal entries on our website, here.

While sexual violence has declined over the years, every 68 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted, as reported by the Department of Justice (DOJ). In 2020, it was reported by the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) that Texas is one of the states with the highest rates of forceable assault in the U.S.

These numbers can be disheartening. They spotlight the work still needed to protect our communities and those affected by this crime. They also spark the ability for us to have these hard conversations that are informed, inclusive, and compassionate to increase prevention and justice at any level.

Every April is recognized as Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM), which calls attention to the widespread issue of sexual violence by raising public awareness through education and preventative measures. Within the SAAM, you’ll hear about communities coming together for awareness days and rallies on Denim Day, all meant to pave the path for a safer community.

For this issue of TRLA Tips, we’ve partnered with Staff Attorney and Legal Aid for Survivors of Sexual Assault (LASSA) Director Kelli Howard, who has over two decades of experience with the rights of survivors of violence, and Equal Justice Works Fellow Lydia Harris-Grigg, sponsored by the Texas Access to Justice Foundation, whose practice has focused on the rights of LGBTQ+ survivors.

With their combined passion for advocacy and justice, Kelli and Lydia share some of the common questions they often receive from TRLA/LASSA clients regarding their rights after experiencing sexual assault and/or violence.

Common questions received by LASSA Project clients regarding their rights and how to seek justice.

What are my rights if I am a survivor of sexual assault?

• KH/LH: You have the right to be safe.  You have the right to ask for help. If you experienced unwanted touching and you are not sure if it counts as a sexual assault – any physical contact you don’t want is an assault.  You do not have to tolerate contact or touching that you don’t want just because other people think it is ok for them or that it is not too personal, intimate, or sexual. 

  You have the right to say no, including within a relationship.  Marriage, dating, or a long-term partnership does not mean you have automatically consented to all types of physical contact or sexual activity.  You have the right to say yes or no to each encounter.

  If you have experienced physical and sexual assault, and you wish to have a sexual assault nurse examination done (a SANE exam), if possible, preserve your clothes and do not shower or bathe until you have had the exam done. You can still have the exam even if you haven’t done these things.  These exams can be done at your local hospital or sometimes at your local family violence shelter. The nurses who conduct these exams are trained to help you feel as comfortable and safe as possible.

  If you feel safe doing so, make a report with law enforcement.

  Document any injuries with photographs. Save any evidence like text messages or property damage.

  And remember, there is nothing you could have done that would have made this your fault. There is nothing you could have done that would make you deserve this.

What do I do if the assault happened a long time ago, even decades ago?

• KH: It is never too late to come forward. Sometimes, criminal and civil justice systems cannot provide perfect solutions when time has passed—whether because of the time limits on when a suit can be filed, lost evidence, or other reasons. But that doesn’t mean that justice is not possible. You can still contact law enforcement if you feel safe to do so. You can still tell your story and seek healing through counseling and sharing the truth of what happened with others.

What do I do if the person who sexually assaulted me is someone whom other people trust or view as an authority figure so that they will believe that person and not me?

• KH: You can ask for help from survivor advocates so that you are mentally and emotionally prepared for any resistance from those who do not want to believe what you know is true.  You can contact the national hotlines or your local shelter for help and support.

• LH: TRLA’s LASSA project has social workers on staff who can provide support as you navigate working with TRLA to access civil legal resources to help you move forward free from violence. Our social work team can help by providing you with information about resources in your community, emotional support as you work with TRLA advocates, and court accompaniment if you have to go to court in your case.

What do I do if I am concerned that people will not want to help me because I was drinking, because of what I was wearing, because of my mental health diagnosis, because of my size, because, because?

• KH: Sexual assault is not your fault.  Nothing you did caused the assault.  You can ask for help from survivor advocates who use a trauma-informed approach to talk with you about what happened.  They can help you prepare for any resistance you encounter when you share your story with a broader audience.  You have the right to ask for support from a community of survivors and advocates. 

What do I do if the person who assaulted me is the same gender as me?

• LH: The same thing you'd do if they were a different gender! Get to a safe place where your attacker does not know where you are. This could be a family member or friend’s home or a shelter for domestic violence or sexual assault survivors. After you have reached a safe place, take photos of any injuries you have. If you feel safe to do so, make a report with law enforcement. If you feel safe doing so and think you may, at any point, want to press charges against the person who assaulted you, visit your local hospital and request a sexual assault nurse examination (SANE exam). Nobody has the right to touch your body without your consent, regardless of their gender or relationship with you. You have the right to be free from unwanted physical contact.

What do I do if I believe the person sexually assaulted me BECAUSE I am (or they believe I am) LGBTQ+?

• LH: Call us! And, if you feel safe to do so, make a police report and let them know that you believe that's why they sexually assaulted you. There are also resources available to you as an LGBTQ+ person, such as The Trevor Project, LGBT National Help Center, and FORGE, among a few national ones.

Can I get a court order saying the person who assaulted me must stay away?

• KH: In Texas, this is called a protective order. There are family violence protective orders for people who have experienced violence or the threat of violence in the recent past, as well as anti-stalking protective orders and sexual assault protective orders.  Protective orders can range from a shorter time, such as one or two years, to a lifetime.  Protective orders that are short can be renewed under certain circumstances.  If the person contacts you or comes near you in violation of the order, they can be arrested.

The many ways TRLA and LASSA help survivors

At TRLA, we’re allies – we believe in survivors and their ability to build resilience after facing victimization. We recognize the challenges our client communities might encounter and offer a holistic approach for survivors with the help of our LASSA team, a TRLA project.

Through TRLA, the LASSA team actively empowers survivors to seek justice in whichever way feels right for them at the time, either through the legal system or community resources. This team provides eligible clients with assistance seeking protective orders, divorces, custody, immigration remedies for survivors of violence, workplace and educational sexual violence matters, crime victims' compensation, and a host of other remedies for survivors. Part of our holistic approach also includes the ability to assign our clients facing delicate issues a social worker from our team who is equipped to provide emotional support while their case is ongoing with us.

We’re mindful that sexual violence does not discriminate based on age, gender, relationship status, sexual orientation, disability status, citizenship status, or any other type of identifier.   

The Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law study identifies that LGBTQ+ are almost four times more likely to have violent crimes, including sexual assault, perpetrated against them. It also finds that those who identify as LGBTQ+ are less likely to report for a variety of reasons.

“As a queer, nonbinary survivor of violence myself, I am in a unique position to understand the barriers LGBTQ+ survivors face to coming forward and seeking safety,” shares Attorney Harris-Grigg. “My job is to help empower LGBTQ+ survivors to seek safety using the legal system by providing culturally humble, trauma-informed support through advice and direct representation.”

Empowering victims to seek relief with local or national support.

As we approach the end of SAAM, the work will not stop—not by us or any other community partner fighting for a safer community for all.  

We are here to help and equip our clients to find strength and build resilience because of their experience, not in spite of it.

If you or a loved one are victims of sexual assault or violence in need of legal help within our service areas, please reach out to the TRLA LASSA toll-free hotline for more information at 800-991-5153.

For survivors in Texans outside of our service area, you may call LASSA Texas’ Hotline at 844-303-SAFE (7233), Option 1, or visit their website for more information. If you need immediate support, we encourage you to call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673) or visit their online chat for free and confidential support.

If you’re an ally, a survivor, or a person who’d like to learn more about this topic and how we can all collectively join on the path toward healing and prevention of sexual violence, please visit the RAINN and Me Too Movement websites for the most up to date information.